How did this happen?

Why train?  Why race?  Both good questions...  it happened like this.

2 years ago I borrowed a friend's road bike.  My husband and I were looking for a 'bike' activity that we could do together...  mountain biking wasn't working (He used to race and has no understanding of what a beginner trail would be.  I spend most of my time walking up steep hills and off the bike in the brush on down hills...  I had no technique, and because he's been doing it his whole life - he doesn't know what he does to be able to teach me.  It was never a fun experience - leaving me feeling frustrated and like I sucked (which I did...  but, no one likes to feel that)).  I really enjoyed the road biking.  Sure, he (my husband) may be faster than me (he used to race on the road too) but at least I can yell at him to slow it down - and, if I can improve my fitness then may be we can both ride at a good pace together!  So, I bought a decent enough bike (Cannondale six-13 - with a nice, girlie paint job...  same bike I still have - although I dream about the Wilier Cento uno) and started riding with my husband on week ends.

I started getting fit.  Then comes out that stable personality characteristic...  I decided that if I worked a little bit harder to get more fit - may be I could pass everyone on recreational rides (not that we ride as part of a group...  I just mean when we're out riding to Bragg Creek in the summertime - I want to pass everyone else on the road).  Not in a vindictive/you suck kinda way...  just in a 'I can do this' kinda way. I'd still say hi as I passed...  I wouldn't be mean about it...

This was last summer.  It was a perfect time because I was writing up my PhD thesis - at home - which means that I had lots of time to do for a morning or afternoon ride.  I wasn't 'training' for anything - I was just riding more and pushing myself a bit, with the hopes of increasing my speed.  Some of my husbands friends are racers...  and, if you're a cyclist you know that the subject of cycling has a tendency to take over conversations.  Listening to them talk about training and bike parts and such would get me excited.  I wanted to be fast too!  As such, I decided I'd incorporate some basic training - hill repeats once or twice a week.  Again - nothing too serious...  it's not like I was intending to race, and I felt kinda silly working so hard for nothing.  But, I was getting faster!!

By the end of the summer I was starting to gain some self-confidence.  I was wondering if I was actually getting faster - and how that 'faster' compared to other people (especially other girls - seeing as I've only been riding with my husband).  I was really nervous about riding with other people - what if I'm too slow and they have to wait for me!?  I can't stand being "that" person (even though I don't mind waiting for "that" person...  I just don't want to be "that" person.  Is that bad?).  So, I made an effort to learn about some women's riding groups - made contact with someone and planned my first ride with a stranger.  Very scary...  especially because she raced...  which of course means that she's fast!

I was pleasantly surprised.  It wasn't a 'hard' ride - I had no problem keeping up...  and it seemed that my hill repeats had worked because I could kick butt up hills!  From there it becomes a bit of a spiral...  She asks if I've considered racing - I say not really (although secretly I'd love to...  if someone thought I could win.  But, I don't want to lose - so I'd rather not try too seriously...  may be I could be a domestique?  More on my "fear of failure" later..).

Now I've decided yes.  I will try racing.  And with that trying comes more serious training... which is where I am now.  Except that I don't really know what I'm doing.  I've been reading forums on-line, and books - I'm supposed to be working on aerobic endurance right now (not high intensity, specialized training yet)...  and that's what I'm trying to do - but I'm not sure I'm doing it right...  am I going to hard, too often?  And food is a whole other game!  Yes I'm a girl - which means I have highly ingrained ideas around eating behaviours.  Those have to go!  I don't want to lose weight...  but, I don't want to gain any either...  AND I certainly don't want to lose muscle by not eating enough (or not eating the right foods at the right times).  Oh!  So much to consider.

It's already almost the end of January...  I've been biking about 4 times a week and X-country skiing once a week.  I try and do 3 aerobic (just under anaerobic - zone 3ish) rides and one high intensity ride.  I try and do strength once a week...  and I'm trying to eat enough low fat, high carb foods to grow muscle mass but not increase fat levels.  I don't know if this is going to work...  If I'm going to start my spring riding at or above what I ended with last summer.  I guess we'll just have to wait to find out.